buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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