I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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