someone threw a dead crab at me
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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