I hate all girls vehemently.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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