bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
