I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
