he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
