If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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