Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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