Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just found a bag of teeth...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
