You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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