can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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