sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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