I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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