I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
