The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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