I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
