My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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