Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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