I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
