the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
