I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So much rum. So many feels.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
