Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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