hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
