My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
