I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
