Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
