I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
