ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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