i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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