We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
