it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
