Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
