i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
