Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
