people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
