and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
