I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
