I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
