Heybabeimwearingurpanties
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
