I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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