Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
