I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
