with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
