I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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