she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Everclear isn't food dammit
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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