Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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