beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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