I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
