69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
